1 Respect their humanity. This is the most important part of understanding gay and lesbian people. They are as complex and unique as anyone else, and they have dreams, goals, and passions that are much more central to their identities than the gender they are attracted to. If you feel you understand straight people, then you are well on your way to understanding gay and lesbian people as well.
2 Dismiss stereotypes. Some gay and lesbian people fit into all the popular stereotypes, some fit into none of them, and most fit into some, but not all. Some straight people “seem gay,” and some gay people “seem straight.” There is no sure-fire way to tell someone’s sexual orientation by looking at them, listening to the way they speak, or watching their mannerisms. The more you learn to let go of stereotypes, the easier it will be to begin seeing LGBT people as people.
3 Rein in your ego. Just as you are not attracted to every single member of the opposite sex, gay people are not attracted to every single member of their own sex. You might not be their type. Do not assume a gay person is attracted to you just because they share your gender. They probably aren't.
4 Interact with LGBTQIA people. Studies have shown that people with homophobic beliefs report having less personal interaction with gay and lesbian people. Having LGBT+ people in your life will make it much easier to see them as regular people like you, and not as mysterious aberrations. If this is impossible, you might try reading books or watching television shows and movies with gay characters, or watching documentaries about LGBT+ issues.
5 Learn from other allies. There are lots of organizations whose aim is to increase heterosexuals’ acceptance and understanding of LGBTQIA people. Look up your local PFLAG chapter, or spend some time on the websites of GLAAD or the Human Rights Campaign.